motherhood

I know that most people who write these blogs do it to show off their families and babies. Since I don't know how to post pics (and don't really have a camera!) there won't be picture anytime soon. And, since my babies are 20 and 23 I won't be talking about all the cute and wonderful things they do are they are growing. You see...my kids are grown...or so they like to think!

When they were little I would marvel at all the little things they learned every day. I relished in watching them take their first steps, talk, feed and dress themselves. It was a glorious time. And, then they grew into school children.

Being the kids of a teacher was not easy. They spent many long hours at the school with Mom. They arrived early and stayed late. No matter what school they attend there was always someone who knew me. They hated this because I often knew what they were doing even when they were away from me!

Then came the teenage years. Heavens know how any of us survived that time! They had very unique personalities and very different lifestyles. Each made choices as to how they wanted to live. As hard as it was then for me to let things happen, it is even harder now.

Once children reach the age of 19 -20 they believe that they are adult and they are "grown". The hardest thing for a parent to do is to let them make choices that you know are not the best for them. You can voice your concern. You can "demand" they do things. You can ignore what is happening. But, in the end, they will make the choice they believe is right. As a parent you have to be willing to stand by your beliefs, voice those as well and pray that all those years growing up they learned values you tried so desperately to teach them.

Sometimes that happens. Sometimes it doesn't.

I think that these are the times that Charles Dickens spoke of..."the best of times, the worst of times."

My two children mean more to me than anything or anyone in the whole world. I would do anything to make sure that they are happy, safe and ready to take on life. The problem is I can't really let go of them and let that happen. You see, I have already watched them stumble and I am afraid to let them fall. I want to protect them from all the evil and the hardships in the world so they don't have to hurt or suffer. I know...I know...that is not possible. I should just back away and let them experience life and learn from their mistakes. Really? Can a mom really do that?

As I sit here waiting for her to walk through the door I can only hope that I have said the right things, I have loved her enough and I have given her all that she needs to become a success in whatever she attempts. What if this doesn't happen? What can I do then? I will still try to say the right things, I will still love her with all my might and I still believe that she will be successful. That is what a mother does.

Yes, children are a blessing...and a pain...and a wonder...and heartbreak all rolled into one. Ahhh...the joys of motherhood.