Bumps in the Road

Just when you think everything is going along just fine...a bump in the road pops up.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. There is no way anyone can explain or prepare you for all the happiness and heartbreak that will occur when you have kids. There is no greater joy in life than hearing your child say, "I love you, Mommy" or the belly laugh that happens spontaneously. There is not deeper pain than hearing, "I hate you" or having your child purposely ignore your requests.

I have been a mother for 24 years. These have been blessed years! I have laughed and cried both with my children and for my children. I have two of the most wonderful kids in the world. However, right now I feel completely helpless and sad.

One child is moving forward, maturing and working to make a life change. One child is defiant, rebellious and purposefully hurtful. One makes me smile and one makes me cry. What's a mother to do?

I know that all young adults have a lot to deal with. When you are in your 20's you have so much on your mind. There's the question of a job, where to live, how to deal with no longer being a teenager with no responsibilities--learning how to deal with all the adult responsibilities...life is a constant "moving target". Hard to believe, but I can remember those years. Trying to figure out if I was in love, how I could pay my bills, where to live, what would I be "when I grew up". All of those life questions.

My mom supported me, stood by me and defended me. She also set me straight when I screwed up. That is the type of mother I have tried to be. Sometimes I have been too strict, sometimes too lenient. Isn't like most mothers? The balance is hard, it is a thin line to walk.

So, I sit here, holding back tears of sadness because I can't seem to figure out how to reach her, how to make my child see how much I love her, admire her and worry about her. She doesn't want to hear me, to respect me, or to even be nice, unless it works to her advantage. And, yet, she is my heart, my soul, my daughter.

People say to just give kids time to grow up. I know this--been through this with the son. Same struggles, same tears. It just never gets easier...not even the second time around...here comes another bump in the road...