Spring Break!

The weather is gorgeous, the time change has begun so we will have longer days, I have a week off of work...yea for Spring Break!!!!

Lots to do this week! Sushi lunch dates, taking some time to take care of myself, tanning, shopping, grilling out, working on the house and yard...sounds like a full week of fun! Juan will be off the last part of the week so we will be able to spend some time together, too. After the last month of work, this will be a much needed break!!

I know that once I go back to work it will be nonstop stress and pressure. So all the more reason to take this week and be selfish. TAKS season is gearing up so 3rd - 5th is working overtime. PK, KN, 1st and 2nd are busy getting the kids on level and ready to move forward. We know that the next few months will be hard. Hopefully we all spend time this week resting and rejuvenating!

I love having this week off. But, I know it will be so hard to go back to work after this!! Oh well! No time to worry about that now. I have sunshine calling me! Happy Spring Break ya'll!

Every day choices

Ever wonder how many times in a day you have to make a choice? Some days might not be so tough, but then come those days when it seems like every time you turn around you have to make a choice...not easy to do most of the time.

Everyone has different experiences that require different choices. Moms make different decisions that dads. Blue collar folks make different choices from white collar workers. Kids have tough choices every day. But, we all have to answer for our choices and our decisions.

I read somewhere that a teacher makes over a million decisions throughout the day. WOW! 1,000,000 decisions in an 8 hour work day! No wonder we are soooo tired by the time we get home. Then, we have family decisions to make...and it never ends!

God makes choices every day as well. He chooses to stand by us and support us no matter that we make bad choices. Kinda wonderful knowing that even if we make an unwise choice He is there to hold us up and guide us. Maybe next time we will make a better choice!

If we would all just take a few minutes each day to contemplate our choices, and spend time asking God for wisdom to make good choices, our lives would be so much easier!

May all your choices this week be good ones...and if not, reflect and move forward!

Strength

Life is so hard at times. Just when you think things might become normal it all falls apart.

My family is the most important thing to me. My husband and two kids bring me tremendous happiness...and tremendous pain...How do I keep everything going? Keep everyone happy? Mediate between arguments? Offer financial and emotional help? and still be a good mom, wife, friend and professional????

It is just so hard to balance life right now. I try to be optimistic and put on a happy face, but it just isn't working. I feel sad and depressed, and taken for granted, helpless and frustrated.

Prayer is the only thing that will help right now so I am going to go have some quiet time with my Lord and pray for his help.

Christmas Eve

Today is Christmas Eve and it is snowing!!!! How cool is that?

So, tonight is our family gathering. We have always celebrated as a family on Christmas Eve. My entire family gets together for dinner and we open presents. This is the tradition that my mom and dad began and we have continued. After mom and dad passed, it was Jana's family and my family that gathered, and we still do that today!!! This year we will be at my niece's house with her family, my nephew and his family, my sister and my family--all together.

We always have a nontraditional/traditional dinner. Tonight is Mexican Christmas--Yum-O!!! We will all eat more than we should, we will laugh and tell each other funny stories. There will be some holiday cheer and toasts to be sure! Then, we will gather in the living room and let the kids all open their presents. After all that is what Christmas is--a time for kids! We have to get this all done early so the little ones can get to bed so Santa can come!

Tomorrow is our Orphan Christmas at Leslie and Tom's. All our Aardvark friends and family will gather to eat (again) and celebrate with even more cheer! Should be lots of fun!!

Merry Christmas to all!

This time of year!

I love the time between Thanksgiving and New Years! All the time with family and friends, the yummy food, decorations, shopping, movies, memories...so many great things!

As a child I remember the big family Thanksgiving meals when all the aunts, uncles and cousins would get together and have a glorious meal then watch football. Christmas would bring simple tree and house decorations and pretty wrapping under the tree. Hurrying to bed on Christmas Eve to make myself go to sleep so Santa could come and brings his gifts. Then, New Years Eve would find all the extended family together again to ring in the new year! We were a very close family and we celebrated holidays together.

As we all grew older, there seemed to be fewer and fewer occasions that we gathered. As our parents aged there were fewer of them each year. As young adults we married and started our own families. Maybe we became too selfish or too busy to continue the old traditions. At any rate, here we are, many years later, isolated. Or, at least that is how I feel these days.

My mom died at the young age of 46 and my dad passed when he was 52. I am blessed to have lived past those years. I am now the adult. Planning family gatherings should fall to me, and I truly wish I could provide them. I wish I had a home that could hold all the family...not just my kids, but my nieces and nephews, and their families, along with my cousins and families. I wish there were time for us to all gather and visit and celebrate together. We have all gotten so busy and our schedules are so disjointed, that these traditions have fallen by the wayside and will probably never be revived.

Right now I would just be happy to have my immediate family together again, happy and congenial. Right now I just want my family to be a family. I miss having my kids be little! I love that they are growing up and they are moving forward, but I am sad that they are not always around.

As Christmas approaches I pray for the peace. Peace for the world, and peace for the family--my family and all the families in general.

Hopefully this season will bring to all...

And then...

There are days that I feel I get nothing done, nothing accomplished, nothing satisfied.

Today is one of those days. I worked all day, but feel like I got nothing completed. It seems like no matter how much I do, or how long I work on things, I never get caught up. There is always something that MUST get done right now, four other things have to be finished today, and then...still more to do when all that is done.

Some days I feel good about what I do. I pull out of the parking lot and smile and think, "Today was a good day!" Other days, I get in the car and start to cry because I feel totally useless. Today was the latter.

And then...I get home and am greeted by my loving husband and two precious dogs. They see things differently and have no idea what my day has been up 'til now. All they know is that I am home and it is time to have dinner and relax. And then...I take a deep breath and move forward.

Bumps in the Road

Just when you think everything is going along just fine...a bump in the road pops up.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. There is no way anyone can explain or prepare you for all the happiness and heartbreak that will occur when you have kids. There is no greater joy in life than hearing your child say, "I love you, Mommy" or the belly laugh that happens spontaneously. There is not deeper pain than hearing, "I hate you" or having your child purposely ignore your requests.

I have been a mother for 24 years. These have been blessed years! I have laughed and cried both with my children and for my children. I have two of the most wonderful kids in the world. However, right now I feel completely helpless and sad.

One child is moving forward, maturing and working to make a life change. One child is defiant, rebellious and purposefully hurtful. One makes me smile and one makes me cry. What's a mother to do?

I know that all young adults have a lot to deal with. When you are in your 20's you have so much on your mind. There's the question of a job, where to live, how to deal with no longer being a teenager with no responsibilities--learning how to deal with all the adult responsibilities...life is a constant "moving target". Hard to believe, but I can remember those years. Trying to figure out if I was in love, how I could pay my bills, where to live, what would I be "when I grew up". All of those life questions.

My mom supported me, stood by me and defended me. She also set me straight when I screwed up. That is the type of mother I have tried to be. Sometimes I have been too strict, sometimes too lenient. Isn't like most mothers? The balance is hard, it is a thin line to walk.

So, I sit here, holding back tears of sadness because I can't seem to figure out how to reach her, how to make my child see how much I love her, admire her and worry about her. She doesn't want to hear me, to respect me, or to even be nice, unless it works to her advantage. And, yet, she is my heart, my soul, my daughter.

People say to just give kids time to grow up. I know this--been through this with the son. Same struggles, same tears. It just never gets easier...not even the second time around...here comes another bump in the road...